MY PETS

This page is all about the creatures that live in my house. I've had pets as long as I can remember. One day maybe I'll make a page on here for the pets I've loved in the past.

Polly

FULL NAME: Polaris
NICKNAMES: Polly Anna, Polyethylene, Pawly, Pawee, Polystyrene, Good Golly Miss Polly, Polly Doodle, The Pisserrr

I got Polly as a kitten from the shelter in November of 2016. She wants to be in my arms at all times. Polly is almost always mysterioiusly damp. She drools when she's happy. Loves to walk around with her mousie in her mouth and warble like a ghost. Pisses on comforters so I've been sleeping under a ten dollar walmart fleece throw for years now. It's not so bad.

Wander

FULL NAME: Wandering Star
NICKNAMES: Wandering Baby (sang to the tune of "angel of music"), Man Cat, Man Boy, Handsome Man, Big Boy, Big Man, Big Boy Man, Man Man, Derder, Big Cat

I pulled Wander out of my uncle's barn in November of 2017 as a kitten. He has since grown into a huge adult human man who follows me around and screams at all hours. He is the designated big brother of all the kittens I've brought in after him. He is so gentle with babies and puts up with a lot of their antics. Wander's special talent is being huge and hanging his ass out of the litter box as he takes a fat shit.

Stella

I'm sorry there are so few, she's just really hard to take good pictures of.

FULL NAME: Lost Constellation
NICKNAMES: 'Tella, Stella Luna, Stella Nutella, Haunted Victorian Child, Pen and 'Tella

Around 8pm one night in 2018, my neighbor knocked on my door and was like "this was under our deck. my husband hates cats can you take her". She presented me with a little grey ball of dryer lint. The next day I drove all up and down our street asking if anybody had lost a kitten. It had just snowed too so she had been out in the cold most fo the night. Nobody claimed her so I took her in. Stella is a shy, careful cat who doesn't make a lot of noise unless she thinks she's alone. Then she'll chirp and squeak as she plays. Stella has never done anything wrong in her entire life.

Beetle

FULL NAME:Betelgeuse
NICKNAMES: Beebo, Miss Beebee, The Beebs, Yeah Yeah Beebis 1, Beebster, The Beatz, Skinnybreeches, Shithead, Bad Girl,

In 2020, right at the start of The Pandemic, I had a cancer scare. In the midst of setting up appointments, I stopped by my cousins' beauty shop to talk to them. One of them mentioned that there was a little kitten left under her deck and that she hasn't seen the momma cat in a long time. The other kittens were gone. I was feeling some type of way and needed to focus on literally ANYTHING I COULD while I waited for results, so I agreed to take her in. She was SO tiny. I'll see if I can find any baby pictures of her, but she was barely weaned. She scampered across my floors like a BUG so I started calling her Beetle. Short for Betelgeuse (all my cats have celestial names) because I was going through a fixation on the Beetlejuice musical. Beetle is hands down the most destructive cat I have EVER owned and I've had a lot of cats. She's incredibly smart and she gets into EVERYTHING. I have to play with her a lot to wear her out. Her favorite thing on God's earth is the laser pointer.

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